Month 1 Revisited

Well my goal of creating a daily (or even weekly) blog kind of fell apart, didn't it?  I guess that's my way of showing life reflecting budget.  The budget kind of fell apart as well.  But really, that's the beauty of budgets.  They fall apart, they evolve, they do many wondrous things.  My budget used to be a beautifully regimented thing, because I lied.  I budgeted out Hubby's salary but never added my part-time job.  So I'm thinking, WOW, I can really balance a budget!  Everything always worked out and savings were never dipped into.  Now that I don't have an extra paycheck I realize how hard it is to actually make these things work.  There is no extra padding, we only have what is written down on the piece of paper.  That piece of paper is so unforgiving.  It doesn't care if everyone gets sick and needs medicine that costs more than the "Medical" envelope allows.  It doesn't care that it's somebody's birthday and it would be really nice to order pizza to celebrate.  It doesn't care if someone unwittingly left the garage furnace running for three days and our power bill shot through the roof.  All the budget cares about is itself.  It cares that, come the end of the month, it doesn't have a negative balance.  Selfish bastard.

So since that silly piece of paper doesn't care, it's my job to care.  And I have spent this month doing a lot of caring.  It's been pretty interesting to find the foods that were shoved to the back of the pantry and creating new meals, desperate because I know there is only $20 left in the food budget and that has to be saved for milk (though, who knew, I have a box of powdered milk-- if all else fails, I guess we'll find out how that tastes in our morning cereal).

There are five days left in the month, and we have not quite run out of money yet.  Of course, I have not paid off as much of the credit cards as I originally hoped, and I still have license plates to renew, but for the most part I've made it work.  Hopefully next month will be more productive.  Sadly at this point I just feel like I'm holding my breath until tax refund time.  That's no way to be, but what can you do?  On a positive note, we were able to pay all of our bills and not starve to death.  We will not be losing our home or cars or anything else due to lack of money this month.  That's a lot more than some people can say.  The earthquake in Haiti was a big eye-opener for me.  I didn't want to, but I watched the fund raiser with all the celebrities talking about how sad life in Haiti is (what can I say? Kid Rock was singing when I turned the TV on, and the white trash in me will not allow me to deny Kid Rock my attention).  My life is not perfect, but it is wonderful.  I sat on the couch with my microwave popcorn and my name brand soda and cried my eyes out, realizing how blessed I am to have my home and my family safe, and yes, I have consumer debt-- but in a way isn't that a blessing too?  If the worst thing I have to deal with is paying off some stupid purchases, I am the luckiest person in the world.  I have thus far never had to dig a family member out of the rubble that was once our home because my city has been destroyed by a natural disaster.  I have never had to depend on the kindness of people on the other side of the world to make sure I have the basic necessities of life.

Sometimes it's easy to forget these things.  Especially when you want so much to pay off bills and be financially secure.  Tithing is such an important part of my budget, and for a few weeks I let myself forget that.  But what is ten percent of my income, really?  Believe me, it's not that much money.  Sure, it COULD be used to more quickly pay off a debt that I never should have allowed myself to accrue anyway.  But aren't there millions of people who could put it to better use than that?  Thanks to Kid Rock, I realized the error of my ways.  And I think I sleep better at night knowing that my money is helping people survive rather than helping me purchase more crap I don't need, or paying for the crap that I already bought that I don't need.  We made our token donation to the Red Cross after watching that show, though I will admit it wasn't as much as it should have been.  My goal for February is to continue on my path towards simplicity so I have the money available to help the world outside of my 4 walls.  I don't go to church anymore, but I still firmly believe that all I have, I have because of God.  Therefore, giving back ten percent in order that His world can be a better place, really is a small price to pay for all I have received.